Tired: influencers. Wired: pigfluencers.
Forget cats and big boobs arab riding sex videotheir "can haz cheeseburger" antics. The pig may not be the most well-known or beloved internet animal celebrity, but it's the pinkest cutie around.
More wholesome than the cat, smarter and as emotionally sensitive as the dog, the pig is perfect for web culture. They're cute, chonky, loving, loungers with rabid appetites — embodying a #mood we can all relate to.
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So this holiday season, enjoy serving the Christmas ham on your feed rather than a platter. Because every time you unfollow an Instagram model to follow a pigfluener instead, you're doing a radical act of self-care. (But please admire these cuties from afar. Having a pig as a pet is a big responsibility that isn't for everyone.)
1. Prissy the Pig (and Pops and Pansy)
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This ever-expanding pig family will make you want to abandon your own human tribe to join them. While Prissy is the flagship pig of the account, she's often joined by life partner Pops and various other little piglets with — and I cannot stress this enough — seasonaloutfits!!!
Their caretakers even have their own farm animal rescue account, which you should also be sure to follow and support.
Esther the Wonder Pig
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Esther isn't just a wonder because she's so goshdang adorable. She's a wonder because she brought global attention to the issue of "micro" (aka mini and teacup) pigs.
A friend convinced co-parents Derek Walter and Steve Jenkins to give this alleged "micro" pig a home, and they did! Then she grew up to be a chonky 600 pounds (very healthy pig weight!)
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As her co-parents learned, micro pigs are not a real thing. The myth and trend of micro pigs leads to all sorts of pig abuse and neglect, with people starving regular pigs or abandoning them after their "teacup" piglet grows into an adult size.
Luckily, Esther's parents were still able to provide her with the life she deserved, despite false advertising. But it's a real problem, and why we should all stick to loving these pink wonders from a virtual distance rather than in our actual homes.
Christopher the Pig
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What's better than a stationary rescued mini-pig? A TRAVELING RESCUED MINI-PIG.
Not only is Christopher a beautiful jet-setter, but he also regularly brings joy to kids in palliative care, becoming an Ambassador at Le Phare Enfants et Familles. Thank you for making the globe a better place to live in, Christopher!
Pickles the Pig
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Both of them snort, both have a snout, and a curly tail. When you strip pugs and pigs down to their bare essentials, they're practically the same animal.
Which is one of the many reasons why Pickles the Pig and Dill the Dog are a fantastic follow. While this account isn't as exclusively pig-centric as the others, there's still plenty of Pickles close-ups.
Swimming Pigs of the Bahamas
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Shout out to these pigs for giving zero fucks about the clout and biting bikini model Michelle Lewin in the ass. That's right, these are the pigs name-dropped as a selling point quite a few times by the likes of Ja Rule and Billy McFarland in the Hulu and Netflix Fyre Festival documentaries.
Take it as a lesson for why you shouldn't travel to dreamy-looking locales you see on Instagram to disturb the wildlife.
But don't blame the pigs. They were just more innocent victims of that shit show's false advertising, and much more sympathetic than a bunch of rich influencers. But take it as a lesson for why you shouldn't travel to dreamy-looking locales you see on Instagram to disturb the wildlife.
Colloquially known as Pig Island, this beautiful paradise is the home these wild pigs deserve. The fame might come with its downsides, but results in a Instagram page that uniquely combines beautiful views, hot people, and (most importantly) adorable pigs.
Once my boyfriend even caught me looking at the above picture in my feed, and I got to indignantly inform him that I was, in fact, following the pigs and notthe abs thank you very much!
Hamlet the Pig
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Aside from having the most awesome gender non-conforming name ever, this lady Hamlet is a therapy pig with all the best fashion-forward styles. With a careful balance of chic and cute, she'll brighten your feed and also give you some prize-winning ideas for your closet!
Hank the Pig
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Hank is an everyman's pig who enjoys the simple pleasures in life: watching a game at the bar, birthday parties, dips in the pool, scratching your butt against a mattress.
He (along with many others on this list) is also in the category of what I'd call pig ASMR. Listening to him smack his lips while eating with a toothy grin can trigger all the same comforting warm fuzzies any boring old human ASMR YouTube celeb can. And he's much cuter about it.
BONUS: Pink Piglet the Puppy
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OK, so TECHNICALLY he's not a pig in the factual, literal sense. But spiritually, this blind and deaf pink puppy is a piglet like any other on this list. I'd argue dog breeds like the pink-nosed pitbull are as similar to pigs as they are to other canines (again spiritually, not factually).
We can't wait to watch this pink little rescue grow into the chonky, happy hog he deserves to be in his forever home!