Live by the Twitter feed,sex in chiba flight by flight attendent video die by the Twitter feed.
Each week, I gain knowledge. Sure, it might be the fact that nobody else checks their voicemails or what the alleged main ingredient is in a Werther's candy. But it's knowledge nonetheless. They say our Twitter feeds are a reflection of our brains. And by "they" I mean "I."
With that being said, here are the 14 best tweets I saw this week. No, I know. I shouldn't have. But I did.
1. Math? Nah. Math humor? Sure.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
2. Never in my (relatively) young stoner life have I come across anything as relatable as this tweet.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
3. Suddenly, my appetite for Red Lobster is no longer.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
4. The last time I checked my voicemail? It's been 84 years...
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
5. Is this what you'd call a Swiftian slip?
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
6. So that's why grandmas are obsessed with them!
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
7. I'm not sure how to tell you this, but I've watched Dolly Parton sing "I wish I had a nickel" over 19 times this week.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
8. Only true Pirate-heads will relate.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
9. Comparing your leftovers to a picture of Anna Nicole Smith and Jennifer Coolidge? Camp.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
10. Honestly, I haven't slept since Kim Kardashian tweeted at Jack in the Box. WHAT WAS HER COMPLAINT? Sigh. I guess we'll never know.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
11. Neo was ahead of his time.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
12. Please forward this still to every film professor you know.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.SEE ALSO: 'Snitty' is Twitter's word of the day after Bill Barr's Senate testimony
13. What goes up, must come ...
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
14. Don't ask me why, but Trisha Paytas being compared to delivered packages makes sense.
This Tweet is currently unavailable. It might be loading or has been removed.
It's 2019 and content is king. We need it to survive, really. Our hunger for silly sentiments expressed in 137 characters is relentless. Thankfully, we have Twitter to feed us.
Featured Video For You
This 10-year old has a feel good Twitter account all about petting dogs