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On Tuesday,?? ??? ?? ?? on a very bad day in a very bad week during a very, very bad year, another sad story came to light: actress Heather Lind came forward and alleged that former President George H.W. Bush had groped her.

Soon after, New York actress Jordan Grolnick came forward with a similar story. Last night, Bush spokesman Jim McGrath released a statement, saying that the "93 year old" sometimes "patted women's rears in what he intended to be a good-natured manner."

While some called the statement the ultimate "non-apology," others took it a different direction, either excusing his behavior or choosing to shame the women who complained about his groping for going after an elderly man.

Cue exhausted sigh.

For the victims' critics, the women involved lacked empathy. As a 93 year old with Parkinson's disease, George H.W. Bush couldn't be held fully responsible for his actions. Some accused the victims (even if they meant it hyperbolically) of committing "elder abuse" and others chose a more traditional insult: shame.

"Mrs. Bush was at his side. He is in a wheelchair with Parkinson's syndrome. Really? Someone should be ashamed and it isn't 41," NBC's Andrea Mitchell opined.

This is quite a statement. pic.twitter.com/WcUhjk2ML8

— Jonathan Swan (@jonathanvswan) October 25, 2017

Shame is a familiar adjective for victims of sexual assault. There's the shame they often feel while it's happening, the shame they feel in reporting it, and the shame they often experience from others who either don't believe them or don't think they should have addressed it so publicly.

It was bizarre, to say the least, to see shame used so freely against women by professionals and in such a public space.

That doesn't mean there isn't a debate to be had. As Bush's spokesman freely admitted, George H.W. Bush suffers from Parkinson's syndrome which makes motor control especially challenging. It's not unreasonable to imagine that his hands may have accidentally slipped and been in the wrong position. Still, as his spokesman freely admitted, the former President clearly had enough motor control to readjust his positioning and pat women on their rear ends, an act that can easily be defined by one word: shameful.

Not end-of-the-world shameful, of course, not legacy-destroying shameful. Just shameful.

There's another theory going around, that George H.W. Bush suffers from dementia and is therefore not fully responsible for his actions. Older adults who struggle with dementia do often struggle with both motor control and behavioral control. They may not be fully aware of what they're doing and the often painful consequences.

Of the two theories, this was is undoubtedly the more sound. The only problem? The only one to publicly diagnose George H.W. Bush with dementia are Twitter doctors, aka random journalists on Twitter.

Thenthere are others who've said that George H.W. Bush was just acting like a dirty old man, or a product of his times, implying that his behavior was therefore morally acceptable and totally OK.

I'm not sure at what point in our human development our sins become absolvable simply because of our age. 70? 75? 80? If that's the case, I can't wait until I'm 80 and I'm fully licensed to go on a criminal spree. CVS, be forewarned. In fifty years, I am coming to shoplift your overpriced Cadbury Creme Eggs.

And it's simply patronizing to suggest that senior citizens should be graded on a scale, that somehow the crimes they commit when they're at retirement age are less impactful, or that they're too "childlike" to be held accountable. My 92-year-old grandma is an absolute punk when she beats me at Checkers, and I call her out every damn time.

Let's for a moment imagine that all of these things are true. That H.W. Bush lacked so much motor control it forced him to to touch their rear ends, that he has dementia and he had no idea what he was doing, or that he was merely abiding by some 1960s Official Handbook of Men's Ethics, which lists groping as one of their core principles.

That doesn't make what these two women experienced any less painful. And it definitely doesn't make calling them out for reporting it any less shameful. People should be able to speak out about sexual assault even if the context is complicated, without having to worry that someone's going to be an asshole about it on Twitter.

It shouldn't have to be a big ask. And still, somehow, it is.