It’s Cheat Week at Mashable. Join us as we take a look at how liars,eroticism in walt whitman scammers, grifters, and everyday people take advantage of life's little loopholes in order to get ahead.
Hey, we've all been there — your mom or dad asks you to tell the person on the phone they're not home, or when you walk into a restaurant they whisper, "You are 10 years old, OK? Not 12, 10.You're getting that kids menu discount, so help me!"
What's the point of having kids if you can't occasionally use them to your advantage? Sometimes our parents let us get away with the little scams because they recognize life is too short not to have some fun (or get a good deal) ... or both.
If you've ever been lightly exploited by your parents (or you've played your parents like a fiddle right back), these stories sourced from the childhoods of our own Mashable staffers are for you.
Here are 18 times our parents made — or helped — us cheat the system.
1. Gym class is torture
"My mom was happy to write notes to get me out of gym class, which we both agreed was district-sanctioned torture (she didn't do this often, but every month or two)." — Proma K.
2. Taking the midnight train going anywhere ... for free 🚂
"I was always just below whatever the age was to ride the LIRR (or other public transportation) for free. My kids will be just below that age for as long as possible, too." — Matt B.
3. The fister (fake sister)
"Both my parents and my older sister (who is now a parent) coordinate ways I seem like a child under 12 so they don't have to pay for another head when going certain places. And, yes, I was indeed the child you would see that would crawl under the subway turnstiles 🤷♀. I still did the "look 12" thing to get into the Botanical Gardens for free last year, so hook a girl up if you need a fake little sister." — Elvie P.
4. Ah, a vintage scam!
"To save money at drive-in movies, my parents would stash a couple of the family kids in the trunk of our wood-paneled station wagon (guess the decade!)" — Carol M.
5. She only played herself, TBH
"My mom taught me how to forge her signature as soon as I could write in cursive so I could sign things for her. That obviously backfired when I realized I could sign my own report cards." — Lacey S.
6. What a good egg
"Busch Gardens is free for kids 5 and under, so I had to act like I wasn't 6. It stressed me the hell out even though I didn't have to do anything." — Peter H.
7. Should've just jumped the turnstile at that point
"My family used to share one monthly MetroCard for 3 to 5 people. 😬" — Gigi.
8. 🎶 Call all you want but there's no one home, and you're not gonna reach my telephone 🎶
"If my mom received a call but didn't feel like talking she would ask me to answer the phone and tell them she wasn't home. But I would say, 'My mommy told me to tell you she's not home right now,' and she would end up snatching the phone from me because I didn't relay the message correctly." — Randel H.
9. Damn, younger sister privilege is real 😔
"My sister is always mysteriously out of town for field day, even though my mom NEVER did shit like that for me ... oldest child problems." — Chloe B.
10. Soccer > Church
"My school made me do things like get the bulletin from church every Sunday and make the priest sign it to prove I actually went, and it counted toward our Religion grade, so my Grandma did that for me because I had soccer games on Sundays." — Emily Z.
11. Science fiction, double feature 🍿
"My mom would have us sneak into movies after the one we were there for ended if she thought something else good was playing." — Milissa C.
12. Who wouldn't want a creepy animatronic shout-out?
"I think my parents made me pretend to be an Indian citizen so we could go in the shorter line at the Taj Mahal. They also forced me to share my birthday with the staff at the Country Bear Jamboree so we could get a shout-out." — Mallika S.
13. Mom to the rescue
"One time in Mexico I got pulled over for driving over 100 mph on the freeway. Normally you just pay the cop and go on your way, but it happened to be the federal police, who were super pissed and not having it and wanted to take me to the police station. My mom was in the car and she somehow managed to persuade the cops (partially by bribing, partially by pulling the Mom card) to let us go." — Anonymous
14. Classic short child problem
"I used to stand on my dad’s feet to get into roller coasters! Also they stillhave me lie for the child’s ticket if it ends at 15 or 16. 😐 I'm 21, but I know I look younger." — Erica H.
15. Well, the imaginary traffic warden did have a tone
"My mum got me to lie to get out of a £100 parking ticket in Brighton: I had to say that the traffic warden verbally abused us when he never did." — Connor K.
16. And she was a teacher 🤭
"In high school, my mom used to let me and my sister skip school to go snowboarding (I remember one spring during my senior year I missed every Wednesday for a month). I have no idea why she let us do this (she's a teacher!) but obviously glad she did." — Karissa B.
17. The ol' line-hopping scam
"A bunch of my relatives came to visit from Argentina, and my parents went to Goodwill and bought a wheelchair and some kind of leg cast/brace, so when they took the family to Disneyland we could skip all the lines." — Anonymous
If you've ever hopped the fence or gotten free cake when it wasn't your birthday, you're valid. After all, these little scams often hurt no one but Mr. Capitalism™️ itself.
Featured Video For You
All the different ways our parents try to share the news with us