If you've ever felt pressure to be real teen emo goth sex videosthe "tough" or "cool" guy, President Barack Obama has some advice: be yourself instead.
Better yet, he writes in an essay for Glamour, boys and men can play an important role in rejecting society's harmful messages about masculinity, particularly the notion that "there’s a right way and a wrong way to be a man."
SEE ALSO: It's Barack Obama's birthday and Twitter users think he's their dad"It is absolutely men’s responsibility to fight sexism too," he writes. "And as spouses and partners and boyfriends, we need to work hard and be deliberate about creating truly equal relationships."
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Obama's 1,500-word essay begins as a moving meditation on fatherhood. Expressing the bittersweetness of watching his two daughters "prepare to leave the nest," he's hopeful about their future given the gains in gender equality in the past century.
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And yet, despite this remarkable progress, Obama notes that more work remains, not just in addressing policies that disadvantage women, but also in redefining cultural attitudes that negatively affect both women and men.
"In fact, the most important change may be the toughest of all — and that’s changing ourselves," Obama writes.
Recognizing that the most important people in his life have always been women, including his mother and grandmother, Obama regretfully acknowledges how his own career aspirations put the burden of childrearing "disproportionately" on his wife Michelle Obama.
"[T]he most important change may be the toughest of all—and that’s changing ourselves."
"So I’d like to think that I’ve been pretty aware of the unique challenges women face — it’s what has shaped my own feminism," he says. "But I also have to admit that when you’re the father of two daughters, you become even more aware of how gender stereotypes pervade our society."
Obama asks men to help "break through these limitations" by challenging gender stereotypes that constrain both the natural potential and emotional intelligence of boys and girls. Girls shouldn't be raised as demure while boys get to be assertive, he says. Nor should boys be criticized for crying while girls are reprimanded for speaking out. Women, he adds, shouldn't be punished for their sexuality as men are rewarded for theirs.
The president also tackles gender norms that condone sexual harassment, limit how men and women can parent, dictate who is allowed to succeed in the workplace and subject women and girls of color to impossible standards.
"That’s what twenty-first century feminism is about," Obama writes, "the idea that when everybody is equal, we are all more free."
Read Obama's Glamour essay here.
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