Back in 2012,bar sex video writer Jack Chang coined something known as "the slow web." Similar to the slow foods movement, the idea of the slow web movement was to decelerate the pace in which readers consume content: "slow web" consumers would read full length articles, keep open tabs to a minimum, and otherwise spend meaningful time on the internet, instead of just time.
The slow web movement hasn't exactly taken off (I have 15 different tabs open at the moment, and today is a good day) but manifestations of the practice remain. I'm a particular fan of r/watchplantsgrow, a Reddit community dedicated to plant timelapse videos which was launched seven months ago and has since gained over 46,000 subscribers.
There's nothing fast about watching passion flowers grow for nearly four minutes on r/watchplantsgrow.
You're forced to slow down to consume videos like this -- and that, my friends, is good for your web-weary soul.
Places like r/watchplantsgrow force consumers out of their natural digital rhythm. Even though the videos themselves are on hyperspeed, they're relatively slow in digital time. Sometimes, these videos last longer than a full minute: the equivalent a six part historical drama, by viral video standards.
Take a look at this 90 second timelapse of lentils growing, for example:
Or take two full minutes out of your day to watch this green onion blossom:
What makes r/watchplantsgrow so torpid isn't just the length of the videos themselves, it's the actual content itself. There's something so inherently lethargic about watching a full head of lettuce grow into adult lettuce.
It's like watching your salad go through adolescence, except it's way cuter than human adolescence. It's veggie puberty. It's a legume Bar Mitzvah.
I especially love the warring microgreen content. If viral videos are forced to compete against one another, let it be farmer's market vegetable videos.
Who wakes up in the morning, opens up their computer, and searches for the best moss-related content on the web?
The followers of r/watchplantsgrow, that's who:
And if this content isn't slow enough for you, consider this nearly seven minute video of a corpse flower blossoming.
Seven minutes is the internet equivalent of three centuries of history.
The subreddit isn't the only corner of the internet where you can capture plants in motion. Instagram account @plantingpink has its own share of plant timelapse videos.
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On YouTube, there's GPhase, a channel dedicated to all things growing: plants, flowers, and cells.
Look at this video about radish germination. I loathe radishes, but I stan radish germination content:
There's so much more. And I realize that, if you've made to the end of this post and clicked through at least a quarter of the videos, you're probably bored. You likely even hate this post by now. Good. I'm so glad you feel that way.
The internet is wired to stimulate our busted animal brains, and it's critical to find spaces that slow it down, even if for a few minutes.
Watch plants grow, and for an even more phlegmatic experience, turn to a window and watch them grow in real life. Lethargy is chicken soup for the soul.
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