A lonely guy pretended to get stood up on eroticism art history university pressa romantic Valentine's Day dinner at Outback, wasted hours of a well-meaning but clueless server's night, and went home with a free meal. Outback even offered him anotherfree meal — provided he bring a real date.
27-year-old Stephen Bosner spent Feb. 14 on a mission: To bring home a free steak. He made a reservation for two at America's favorite Australian-ish fast casual steakhouse, donned a suit jacket, and packed some tissue paper into plastic bag as a makeshift "gift." He walked in, dateless, and told the host that the 10-minute wait was fine because "she said she was running a bit late anyway.”
SEE ALSO: 25 good tweets for people who hate Valentine's DayBut his date didn't exist — Bosner was doing it all for a bit. He spent the night live tweeting the date that never was, documenting the reactions of his waiter and the Valentine's Day revelers around him.
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He started with a beer for himself and a glass of Chardonnay for his phantom girlfriend. He left classic "let me know when you're on your way" voicemail as the waiter walked by. He picked through one loaf of starter bread, and then didn't even bother to slice the second, choosing to stuff the sad loaf directly into his mouth.
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Still parked at the table 15 minutes before the kitchen closed, Bosner chugged his date's wine straight from the decanter as his waiter walked by.
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"I've never seen someone scoop glassware as smoothly as he took the untouched glass and empty decanter from the table," Bosner tweeted. "Every single person within eye range has glanced at me at some point during the evening."
Naming his date's untouched silverware "Katherine," Bosner pretended to call his wayward girlfriend loudly enough for everyone at the bar.
"I take it you're probably not gonna make it so ..." he trailed off in the fake voicemail, adding enough of a pause for his audience to hear the sounds of people actually having good dates. "I guess I'll talk to you later. Hope everything's OK, hope nothing bad happened."
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It's pathetic and hilarious, but a major dick move. Bosner made the waitstaff stay past their shift so he could forlornly stare at his steak 25 minutes past closing time. He started crying and ate dropped mac and cheese off the floor, eventually garnering enough sympathy for a nearby couple to pay for his meal for him.
When the waiter came to clear the table, he tried to offer words of wisdom "like a father telling his son that Grandma died."
"Take care of yourself," the concerned waiter told Bosner, clearly pitying the grifter. "Don't let them get you down."
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To pay it forward, he left the waiter a $20 and donated $50 to the American Civil Liberties Union.
"Otherwise," he told the Washington Post"I'm going to have some real bad karma coming my way."
Once the thread went viral, Outback even reached out and offered to cover his next date.
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But some Twitter users didn't find it funny at all, and criticized Bosner for wasting the server's time. In addition to keeping the staff late, the server could have made well over $20 in tips by turning the table to other paying customers. Instead, he had to awkwardly deal with a fake sad dude, who used his empathy for a Twitter joke.
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According to Vice, scamming his way into a free meal was better than Bosner's original Valentine's Day plans.
"I figured, why not? It was better than sitting at home watching The Officeagain," he explained.
While the thread is funny to read, maybe don't be a jerk to people who work in the service industry.
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